Strong enough to cry

I was 52 years old when I learned this secret and I want you to know about it too.

Ever heard the phrase, “there’s no crying in baseball” from the movie A League of Their Own? Well, as a generation X – this phrase rings out all too well.

I have been managing stressful situations, recently around caring for my mum. She’s one tough cookie – and is “doing her best kitty!” I am so grateful for a strong woman role model. There is lots to unpack around mommas and daughters, but I’ll leave that for another time. Needless to say – she has always been pragmatic and private about her life and I respect that.

This approach has rubbed off on me, and yet, I believe that my generation (Gen-X) has worked to create circles, communities and tribes of women to help navigate our lives. I’m grateful to have such a fantastic clan of women that I can turn to. While I am vulnerable and share my situations (good and bad), pushing myself out onto the vulnerability ledge where judgement lies, is easier to maneuver when I stick to the ‘facts.’ When I add in emotion…well, perhaps I’m just not ready for that leap! The fact is, I cannot stand crying in front of other people – something I am working on. Emotions are hard.

The more I looked into emotions and emotional regulation, I discovered a few things…

·       Emotions provide important signals for safety.

·       Regulated emotions allow us time to reflect and seek clarity.

·       Emotions can make us feel unsafe and exposed…AND

·       All these things can be true at the same time!

Let’s face it on top of being generation X, I’m a woman of generation X.  This is the “anything a boy can do; I can do better” “stiff upper lip” “suck it up” and “get-on-with-it” generation! It has absolutely helped me be a resilience person, but it has also left some residual and pent-up emotions and a difficulty in actually seeking support…and “perish the thought” that I let that clear stuff leak out from my eyes.

Interestingly, scrolling through FB one night I came across a video that spoke about the chemical differences of tears. That in fact, we have 3 different types of tears and that each serves a purpose:

1.      Basal tears - lubricate

2.      Reflex tears – flush out irritants

3.      Emotional tears – remove stress hormones

Emotional tears contain increased levels of stress hormones and natural painkillers. So, in fact, it’s important that you release these, so you don’t trap these chemicals or toxins in your body and allow them to wreak havoc over time.

Now that I understand the science behind my tears, I think that, when necessary, the act itself makes me stronger (and less stressed). Now, I’m not suggesting that I’ll be abandoning my beliefs entirely, but perhaps one experience at a time, it may become easier to recognize the benefits of a tearful release.

Are you strong enough to cry?

#Trusttheprocess #Trustyourself #Fauxvember #Fauxylady